Mess to Blessed - Intro

It doesn't really matter who I am. All that matters is my journey. And my journey is the same as many others.

Long story long introduction: I was really depressed for over 10 years. I tried religions and spirituality on like I was changing socks. Wicca, Buddhism, Satanism (eesh) are just a few of the ones that I tried. NONE OF THEM HELPED.

So, being a psychology graduate myself, I tried therapy. Two psychiatrists and two therapists later, I felt better but it only lasted for a brief time after therapy ended. I would forget all of the 'tools' they taught me and be back in the same sinking boat.

On a whim, my friend invited me to church. I only went with her because she had social anxiety and wanted someone to go with her (and it was close by). Plus there was a promise of food after.

As soon as we pulled up, greeters were outside with signs saying 'JESUS LOVES YOU'. Blech, I rolled my eyes. 

As soon as we walked in, there was a huge sign saying 'WELCOME HOME'. I thought that was nice, but I still felt like everyone was staring at me and I didn't belong.

We sat in the back of the mega church, not knowing what to expect. The band played music for the first 10 minutes, followed by an hour long sermon. The pastor was funny. Endearing. Warm.

Still, I left convinced. That was in 2018.

A year later, in a very desperate moment of depression, I pleaded with God to end my life. I would rather die than continue to live and be so sad. And in that moment, I felt God say that He couldn't take what I didn't let go.

From then on, I promised to give my life to Jesus. I continued to go to church, study the Word, and see if this felt 'right' for me. And it did. Many of my life's questions were answered and I felt whole in a way that I've never felt before, and have never felt since.

I was baptized in 2020. I still attend the church that helped me face my darkness. And starting this year, I'll be volunteering with them.

I have had no more depressive episodes since 2019. I get blue, I get sad - but the darkness doesn't touch me the way it did. I don't fall into the bottom of the well with no end in sight.

Jesus saved my wretched soul in 2019. And He gave me the Holy Spirit in 2020. My life in the last 2 years, pandemic and all, has been nothing short of thriving and flourishing. 

I share my testimony because I know that if God can save me, He can and will save you too. 

Jesus doesn't say 'come to me all who have a perfect life'. He says 

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

You have been bearing your cross for far too long. Lay it down at the feet of Jesus. Ask Him for His help. Ask Him for his comfort, His love, His mercy, and His grace. He delivers. He is the great comforter and redeemer. He hurts when you hurt. You are not alone.

Love, Mess2Blessed